A tough first day without Max

Thank you for all your kind comments on the news of Max’s death we have been overwhelmed by the kindness from all who knew Max.
It was a hard day today there was much tears as we woke without Max. His coffin arrived this morning and we went with River to chose his flowers.

We also went to see Max’s hydrotherapist Jacqui to tell her the news, she was so patient with Max and he loved his weekly swims.

Its been hard watching River go up to find Max and she sits with his body, she has now stopped trying to wake him and just sits with him. It was the only way she would know what had happened to Max as we can’t explain.

We didn’t want to protect her from knowing about Max as that would just confuse her and leave her seaching for her big brother.

Tomorrow will be the hardest day as we take Max to the crematorium, its the same one we took Buster to 9yrs ago. River will be coming too and its the last time we will see our beautiful boy.

I am not working at them moment and with no max to look after there seems a whole lot of space that I don’t quite know what to do with, but thats OK as anyone who has a bereavement will know there is little motivation and your likely to burst into tears at the simpliest thing.

Just moving shoes so Max won’t fall over them,  today caused a meltdown, Max has gone but the habits that became part of looking after him will take a while to stop.

Time for sleep as grief is exhausting.