Hello. I am a family therapist so take a deep breath.. you don’t have a behaviour problem you have a relationship problem. This is not about washing up but a lack of respect going both ways. If you forgot to bring your wallet to see me and I took something…

Are you working too hard? Many of us are and it can be routed in not feeling safe or not feeling good enough. Often, we work on our business, on our homes, but less so on our inner worlds, to make sense of ourselves. I like this book for anyone…

Disassociation is not something everyone will know exists. Its the bodies way of adapting to deal with trauma. I am grateful for the question some one asked me, that reminds me, not everyone knows trauma stuff and to keep sharing. Firstly, it’s helpful to think of disassociation as on a…

Chase adventures not money Define your own idea of success You don’t have to like everyone You owe nobody an explanation Let people know you’re a kickass Exercise is great when it’s done, until the next day then it hurts. Wild passion and hair can’t always be tamed You are…

Dear potential clients, You don’t have to wait until your head is straight before coming to therapy, it isn’t necessary. You don’t need to wait until you know what the problem is, you don’t have to wait until you can stop crying, shaking (insert any other word you like in…

Relationship beaks up are hard and there are many stages to loss and letting go. We often don’t really talk about how hard it can be to cope when the future you thought you had disappeared. Whether you instigated the break up or whether you have no choice in someone…

I recently wrote an article that appeared in Mo2vate magazine. So many people are experiencing sleep disturbances at the moment, with some work it might be possible to improve your sleep. 1) Switch off the gadgets well before bed and put them downstairs. 2) Low level activity allows your survival…

It’s only natural as we embark upon a new year to reflect on the previous year we have had and perhaps want to set goals for the year ahead. Some of the most common new year’s resolutions include: losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less, learning a new skill, travelling more,…

Despite much of what I am reading Anxiety not an emotion, it’s a collection of visceral body sensations bought on by emotions which activate the fight, flight or freeze responses. The trigger emotions are usually fear, guilt or shame, that has our bodies responding. While it is great that so many…

Christmas can be a wonderful time of the year, with colourful decorations, delicious food, welcome visitors and of course the exchanging of presents. But with the bombardment of adverts of the perfect Christmas, it can be easy to forget that for many it isn’t always a magical time of unwrapping…

I recorded this podcast with Emily Hughes from Parent Guide to GCSE to help support parents with the back to school transition. After so long off, it is natural for there to be anxieties. Have a read of this blog post too for extra tips on how to help your…

Help I am sick of the this! Parents often ask if I can help with behavioural issues and I would like to share some information with you that may help you to tune in and connect better with your child.  I am often asked “What’s the best way to deal…

Off Work Sick As I work with many clients off work with stress, anxiety and depression it got me thinking about how we approach and deal with sick leave. I have had my own periods of sick leave following a car accident, the physical health turned into mental health problems…

Lost and Found If you listen real close you will hear my tears If you listen real close you will hear my fears If you listen though I make no sound I am no longer lost, I have been found

I am dying inside Inspired by watching #MyViolentChild TV Show, reduced to tears as I watch a family who can’t reach each other, no matter how hard they try. A child who says “I want to play with my dad”, a child who says “Id love my kid more than…

Post Natal Depression I would like to thank Hazel for her post on Postnatal depression, its a topic that is often not talked about and lots of clients I work with often report struggling in the early months of motherhood but support is difficult to access. http://inyourcommunity.org.uk/2015/03/12/5-positive-actions-for-mothers-day/.

Inspired by Cancer It appears I blog only when I have a bee in my bonnet about something, today or rather this month it’s Cancer, I want to talk about the inspiring things not the very sad side of Cancer. We all know from painful experience that it kills and…

The wrong type of pill This is a poem for anyone affected by suicide… In the dark of night, in the depths of despair Would anyone notice if I just wasn’t there? Would I be missed does anyone care? Distressed, with too many thoughts in my head I needed help…

I am not a typical therapist Ive seen the typical therapists who work in fancy pants clinics, have receptionists and somebody to take their calls. They work in minimalist surroundings with carefully selected artwork, its all very nice, unless they are in the NHS then its all a bit clinical.…

For anyone stuggling When things are not going well it’s yourself you blame. We don’t seek support usually because of the shame You think I should be able to do it like the others do But guess what, inside they may be struggling too We call ourselves weak and think…

Feeling guilty about feeling good Well it’s been a good day, the sun has been shining and I have got loads of stuff done. I have taken a big tree down, cut both lawns, had several trips to the tip, hoovered the tree out the car, and done washing and…

A tough first day without Max Thank you for all your kind comments on the news of Max’s death we have been overwhelmed by the kindness from all who knew Max. It was a hard day today there was much tears as we woke without Max. His coffin arrived this…

It’s Time It is with a heavy heart that I share today’s news, Max became very unwell in the night and we drove Max to the emergency vets at 5am as he had been unsettled all night long. Not ready to leave him at the vets the locum gave him…

Do people just make excuses? Dominic asked do people just make excuses for not reaching their goals? Well they do but I think its more complicated than just making excuses. Dominics question struck a cord with me, and I felt a blog coming on. I am constantly annoyed by the quick…

WHY? A poem written a very long time ago, one that I never thought would see light of day. Many many years on, there is no longer fear or shame keeping me silent. Some of us don’t get good enough mothers and for those life can be very wobbley.. WHY Why no birthday…

A clients experience of therapy (Published with kind permission of Michael) “Where to begin? I suppose with my own preconceptions of anybody whose profession begins with “Psych”. The image of a 60 year old male, straight laced, two foot grey beard, black couch and dowdy, badly lit office is probably…

Could do better! This week I had a really proud moment as I opened the Brown envelope marked Bham NHS I knew it was from my course. I was wondering would there be a promise of an interview for my Masters or would there be a rejection. It was actually…

Why You Don’t Need To Change When clients come to see me its usually because they are normally struggling, maybe a life change such as a divorce, an illness or death has appeared in their lives. They may just feel they are overwhelmed with emotion or perhaps they have lost…

Lets get the ball rolling.. Crazy ideas for Autumn. Autumn is on its way and thoughts of winter nights fill some with dread, it used to me but I have learned to cope with them better now. Chilly morning walks with the dogs amongst the ever-changing tree colours all make…

You’re Never Too Old: David’s Story David came to see me over a year ago, he had been suffering from depression off and on for a number of years and was struggling to enjoy his sales role or get any fulfilment from it. The only reason for getting up and going…

The Cuts that Hurt We are living in difficult times and many have lost their jobs and the Government Cuts in budget have finally reached me yesterday. I went to my school of several years to be told that my contract won’t be renewed this year, its was a shock,…

A Special Moment It’s a special day today, not my birthday but more special because today we have achieved something I wasn’t sure was possible. I felt I wanted to capture the moment and share it ,if I may. Nearly a year ago a client arrived at my house referred to…

Putting on the Brakes: The Balancing Trick! I see lots of clients in my therapy room, many seeking a way to be happy. Some are desperately trying out different things, moving from one thing to another, in order to achieve their goal, but with nothing working. These clients can often…

My First Blog Hello I have not written a blog up until now, possibly because I didn’t know what to write about and never felt the need., I have seen others doing them, some I have read some I haven’t. I went on the radio this morning  it was not planned a…