I love to work with couples. It’s not always easy to fit together, to say whats in your heart, to ask for what you need, without attacking kindly and respectfully.
We all assume relationships just happen but sometimes they need work.
Arguments can fit into 3 categories;
1) power and control
2) a call for closeness and intimacy
3) a need for validation and appreciation.
Watch out for justifying your own bad behaviour. We call it confirmation bias. When I behave badly its because I had a bad day. When you behave badly its because you are a horrible person.
There’s also kitchen sinking, which is where you drag up all the old stuff, (dirty dishes). The sink just becomes too full to wash up.
There’s competing and invalidating someones experience too; “you think your day was tough?” “You should try looking after 3 kids”. It’s not good listening at all.
There are so many ways we can miss each other.
My job is to listen, read between the lines. Help you understand what emotional needs are not being met.
Our aim in couples counselling is to improve communication and listening skills. To reduce conflict and increase connection.
Its about helping couples understand themselves and each other, so they can experience different aspects of each other.
Its challenging work but it can be life changing.
Get in touch if you need support and are ready to kill your old relationship and co-create a new one full of fun and loving connection.