When you see people who have lost a loved one they tell you about their experience and often, they might be wondering is this normal?

There is no normal we all experience grief differently. Some common things I hear.

“I forgot for a moment, I was laughing and I feel guilty for not being sad all the time.” It’s OK if the joy sneaks in. We can feel more than one thing.

“My brain feels foggy, I’m struggling to concentrate or remember.” Stress affects our cognitive functioning. It is temporary and when calm arrives we can think again and remember.

“I’ve lost my appetite and interest in things I used to enjoy.” As bodies go into survival mode we might find our functioning is less. Bodies numb to cope, but slowly we feel and appetite returns.

“I can’t get my head around it, I should be crying.” Acceptance is a process and it’s normal to feel shock and nothing as the reality seeps in.

“I forgot they have died and put two cups out.” Habits we have created take time to change.

“I feel suicidal and just want to go too.” It’s hard to imagine life without a loved one and the pull to be with them can be intense.

“I’ve lost my confidence.” We seek comfort from partners so it’s usual to feel lost without them.

If you have lost a loved one suddenly whatever you feel is OK.