Selfcare isn’t always easy, putting our needs before others. As I get closer to leaving my fur babies for a holiday my anxiety is here.

Will they be OK, will they feel abandoned. It would be easier to stay but practicing selfcare means working through guilt and my separation anxiety.

These pair teach me so much that helps when working with parents who struggle to self care.

I am aware how hard I have worked to get this far, to get what felt impossible; dog care for dogs with fear aggression that bite.

Now the time is almost here, a time I longed for and I almost want to run from it. I have to work hard to leave them, knowing I am their world and their safety. But putting your own oxygen mask on first is vital.

I know guilt, shame, anxiety are defences that can keep us stuck. So I must practice what I preach and work through the difficulty. All my clients keep me accountable, as I do what I ask them to do and step into what’s uncomfortable. It’s where the growth is.

I know that separation, as hard as it is, brings appreciation for them. I will miss them and my heart will ache for them. I will count the days until I am back, whilst enjoying the freedom the downtime and lack of care duties brings. Yes we can hold the contradictory feelings within one body.

This will be the longest I have left them but we can and will do it! They’ll be safe and cared for at the doggy hotel.

We will all be OK, we have practised the dog hotel for a year and we are ready for this moment.

Mel’s birthday holiday is happening, what a storm of emotions the anticipation of leaving brings.

I am aware of my early life abuse, abandonment, and how I chose to end the cycle of abuse by not having children. It turns out having terrified rescues is no flipping easier. Many of us still mother even without human children. We can’t escape loving.

Attachments and trauma are my specialist subjects and we all live with our histories and they play out whether we are aware or not.

Attachments and trauma are not just words, they are there in the moments and challenges laced through our living experiences, wired through our DNA.

Boscolo and Bertrando’s reflexive loop of time is always present. Our past present and future are inextricably linked.

I help my clients make new sense of it all.

You could argue I have a very special set of skills, systemically trained with many lenses to view life through.

#attachments #trauma #intergenerationaltrauma #counselling