A poem written a very long time ago, one that I never thought would see light of day. Many many years on, there is no longer fear or shame keeping me silent. Some of us don’t get good enough mothers and for those life can be very wobbley..


Why no birthday parties or cakes

Why were those darlings always fake

Why didn’t I have a pretty dress with bows

Why did my shoes hurt my toes

Why the endless chores each day

Why didn’t you allow us time to play

Why were you always so angry and mad

Why couldn’t you be more like my dad

Why was I standing up a naughty wall

Why was I wondering do you love me at all

Why did you say I was evil and bad

Why did you ruin the only child hood I had

Why was it you who always went too far

Why can’t I remember how I got this scar

Why couldn’t we have friends over to stay

Why did you chase them all away

Why couldn’t you just let me be

Why did you want to punish me

Why didn’t I know when you were about to snap

Why can’t I remember sitting on your lap

Why did you scare me out of my mind

Why couldn’t you be just a little bit kind

Why were you so handy with your fist

Why do you tell people that I don’t exist

Why no kisses, not even one

Why didn’t I realise my child hood had gone

Why did I live a life full for fear

Why only now do I shed a tear

Why can’t I forgive all that you have done

All I wanted was a mom


If you need to talk or process those feelings I am here give me a call.

With Love